Tuesday, November 3, 2009 ♥ 21:25
♥ smooches
I am depressed. Why? I'm fat. Yes, you know that your fat when your boyfriend calls you fat. I can't seem to lose weight. I'm on a diet now but it requires exercise. If i were to exercise i wouldn't need to be on a diet now, would i? I'd simply exercise and eat normally. Doesn't that make sense? I don't even dare to weight myself. I dread weighing myself everyday. It's not pleasant. Not pleasant at all. I honestly thought that this stupid diet would work for me but i guess not. I think maybe i'll stop soon. It's depressing me and people keep telling me that i'm gonna put on weight cause i'm eating too much protein. Well, i haven't put on any weight but i haven't lost any either. And now that i'm so fat i can't wear anything. Everything looks bad on me.
I'm also depressed because SPM is so close and i know nothing about sejarah. I need help. Sigh. I'm so screwed because i know nothing. I need to get straight A's. People seem to be under this impression that i only have 2 brain cells.
Pissed me off when my uncle loudly said that i don't know anything about anything but makeup, clothes, and how to look pretty. Excuse me? He doesn't even know me. Plus, doesn't he look in the mirror? If he were so smart he'd have a high paying job and he wouldn't still be living with his mother. Sigh. I'm not stupid! I don't understand. Do i just give that "i'm stupid" vibe? Do people just come near me and sense that i have an empty head? I don't understand how you can just judge someone like that without knowing them.
I don't think i'm stupid. I would consider myself average. And even if i were below average i don't think i'm
stupid. Which brings me back to SPM. I have to get straight A's to prove them wrong! Ahhhh. But somehow i just feel like i can't do it. I just feel so down and like what's the point? Sigh. It's like no matter how hard i try i'm destined to fail. I will never be someone who can do Sejarah and i will never be someone who can get straight A's. I'm just not that type of smart person. I really have alot more to go and no matter how much i read i can't remember.
I need someone to save me now. Sigh. If i don't get this, it means that my hopes and dreams have flown out the window.
I wanna be more than just a pretty face. I wanna be someone worth something someday.
